Being a Reader

reader: a person who reads or is fond of reading; a person who inspects and records readings off a measuring instrument (both can be applied to an avid reader, as you will see)

So what has being a reader taught me?

How to speak well and listen better

When you’re talking to someone try to be totally focused (and this goes for listening to someone too) - give them your undivided attention. We all hate talking to someone who’s multitasking and clearly not paying attention, or who looks like they already know what they’re going to say back! So try to have your thinking, talking and listening caps on. 

You want to think straight to be able to also say what you mean - not go round and round in circles till you finally get to the point. 

Be concise - when possible. 

Be real - I can’t stand people who are keeping up appearances, better not to have any conversations there because you know it’s not genuine, so how can you give genuine back?! 

Be creative - if you’re having trouble explaining something, try to speak in images for the other person to understand better. 

When you’re listening, do it with thought and care. How to do that? You can use your eyes more - people will realize you’ve zoned out! 

Observe their nonverbal cues, to be able to get a better feel of what is being said, get the whole picture. 

And perhaps a note for when you’re talking on the phone - try to be more present. When you’re on the phone it’s so easy to be distracted and do a million other things at the same time - and to be honest while it works most times, I’ve realized that at other times I just can’t do both things properly. If it’s making a cuppa or arranging/organizing it’s one thing; if you’re trying to write an email and finalize something you’re also having to think about then most likely the person on the other end is going to realize you’re not totally there. So you know what? Don’t do it. It’s as simple as that. Take 5 minutes to talk properly to that person so that both of you feel appreciated and good, if not you’re likely to be annoyed (with yourself and the other person) and slightly overwhelmed. It just takes 5 minutes, and everybody wins. 

Being present in the moment is the greatest gift you can give.

But how has reading helped me speak and listen better? 

Perhaps the speaking bit is self explanatory. If you’re reading a good amount, and even a little a day you’re also increasing your vocabulary and advancing your knowledge on things and on life - especially if you expose yourself to different genres. 

The listening is more intriguing though - how does one learn to listen better by reading? Well, reading has a canny way of calming you while at the same time making you aware of how and where you spend your energy. By calming I mean that you also have more of a sense of patience with yourself - does that make sense? Because many times we have to go through the journey of the book, or the poem - you’re waiting and thinking up the end - you can’t just read the first chapter and skip to the end - it doesn’t really make sense that way. So you grow, book by book, poem by poem, to be more patient with yourself, to be more understanding too and you become more patient and understanding (as a result) with the people you interact with. 

Literature also has a way of making you more aware of your emotions and so you’re able to control and identify what you’re feeling with more ease. You’re also able - since you’re more emotionally in better control - to be more empathizing, because you’re exposed to so many scenarios and perspectives that you’re able to take a step back, not judge and comment straight away but see the situation from afar, from multiple perspectives. 

This is also what makes you realize that everyone is important, even everything. Everyone and everything has a role to play in literature - everyone! And it’s the same in our life. If literature is a reflection of reality, and in many cases even fiction is based somewhat on reality, then it stands to reason that it’s the same in our everyday life. 

What does that mean in practical terms? I guess that simply means, be aware of everyone around you - from the cleaner to your principal or boss or whatever - because class doesn’t matter when we’re talking about our humanity. When everyone matters then it just means that you extend respect and gratitude for everyone, and everyone extends it back to you too. Sometimes respect is not reciprocated but that’s no reason to treat others with disrespect either. However people choose to treat you is only a reflection of them and not you. So be good and be kind and have enough self respect to know the difference. 

I believe reading and literature in general, have taught me more about myself than anything else - experience of course, but literature is up there too. Literature makes you recognise yourself for who you are, and not for what others make you out to be. As a result it imbues you with a sense of respect and most importantly self-respect so you can understand that you should not be taken advantage of, and also the situation in which you are. It shows you the situations in which silence is best, and times when speaking up is what is needed. This doesn’t mean that you always get it right, but at least you have more of a guide, an internal compass, a sense of intuition to help you out.